Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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