I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
