I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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