It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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