The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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