She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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