Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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