i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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