i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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