yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
