My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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