new low.... made out with someone while peeing
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize