sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
