the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
