Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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