quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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