i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
