can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
