dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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