does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
