I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
