Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Couch. On fire.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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