whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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