I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
