It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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