i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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