The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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