I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
