I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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