So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
