u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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