fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
