16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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