Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
