Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Randomize