I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
