How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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