No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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