Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
