if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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