lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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