I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
