yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
