She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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