Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
