sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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