I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
