He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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