I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
