I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize