oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
