Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
