I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
