I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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