drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
