OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
