You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
