ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I need a burrito and a hug.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
